What can you do with anger?

Today while I was making my JOURNEY with myself, as of ever, I found a great deal about myself... I was penning these short verses which I always do... As FAR as my travel was concerned it was from திருச்சி to சென்னை. I was on my way back to attend the bloody Marketing Test after my CONVOCATION. I wish that the day had lasted longer. Had a great time with the guys... I wish I had furthered to  திண்டுக்கல் as I had always wanted to be there for my reasons! I wanted to share some pictures of the convocation and say about my joy!

Well, coming back to what I started... I am not going to do what I WANTED to do.

It was 01:20 hours, 26-03-2011.

The bus in which I travelled was near the Chennai AIRPORT(Heaven knows what its name was... I didnt care) & the driver stopped it as a couple of passengers wanted to get down there... On a second thought he asked the conductor to check the wheels... Crazy heavens... A tyre was punctured & so the great MAN stopped the bus as such... After a couple words from the passengers he moved it to the left end of the road! And so we were asked to get down and go in a different bus...

(Nothing new! In my 5-6 years of travel in the SETC & other Ultra DE-LUX-ED(Shine lost) buses I might have experienced this at least a dozen times!)
All the while I thought that I was travelling in an SETC... I didnt even notice it in the ticket... but it was an TNSTC bus of விழுப்புரம்.  As many as 4 buses made the same mistake of assuming it to be a SETC & sped away... A conductor was kind enough to say "TICKET, TICKET... TICKET vaanganum..." while the bus was on the go. An angry citizen(Hope he was sleepy like hell) got irritated and he started scolding the government... He was kind enough to scold only the DMK government & not the whole MK family
(Meaning that M.K family is far GREATER & LARGER & NOBLER than the whole DMK party... Because it is how the DMK government feels & I accept the sovereignty of the Indian Governement. I dont want to be held like Seeman!)

for this ATROCITY! The angry citizen was agitated with the passage of a couple of more buses. He banged a bus that didnt stop... & sure there was an usual war of words in which only the WOMEN KIND were scolded! Now the guy was angry over the crowd, of which I am one. The guy would make an excellent agitator! He started scolding everyone of us... (Translating)

Am I the only one who is to go home? Dont you guys want to go home? Cant you stop the bus? Cant we be responsible? Great state, the state is at!

Then the guy took a stone after a couple of minutes... (Which I didnt realise as I was sending a message to my brother, who miraculously agreed to pick me up from Kaththipaaraa at that time!) And again a bus passes without a pause. Now I heard a DUM! A dhum DUM... Only then did I realise that the guy had taken a stone... & thrown it on the passing bus. The ricochet was great & it went to the far end of the big airport road! A MISS, I guess, was his thought!

Again a bus... This one nearly slowed and the conductor was kind enough to say...

Sorry... it is a different corporation & we cant take you guys... You have to pay fare...

The angry supporters (agitators who joined him) threw a couple of stones on the front glass of the, by now stopped bus... & started scolding the WOMEN KIND! The conductor & the driver of the stopped bus got furious and the conductor got down. He was virtually attacked by the guys from my bus... The good guy(our first angry citizen?) was sonic enough to boost the adrenaline in the other guys it seems. There was the usual clash... both verbal & NON VERBAL...  (By this time a couple of lorries, 3-4 cars with passengers to some flight had been queued up in the road... & my brother rang me after looking at the message that I had sent. ) After a round of talks... The new conductor & driver came to realise that the bus in which we came belonged to the same corporation (TNSTC) & not the SETC! They agreed to take us in without the fare... FAIR DEAL for the fear of broken glasses & injured passengers! Still OUR guys were all charged up by the adrenaline flow... & were hyperactive. They were shouting, scolding, cursing....
The new conductor told

(Vaa.... Nee Koyambedu vaa... Anga vachchu unna naan paaththukkurhaen..) "Come, come to the CMBT... Let me take care of things there..." as the angry guy boarded the bus...

And sure again there was a  a clash in the bus... & the guys were all scolding the conductor... As far as my travel was concerned, I reached the end of my bus travel... Kaththipaaraa reached! A relieved guy... I relieved the bus of my weight... & attended my brother's next call... I came to the opposite end of the road to see the reckless behaviour of another EDUCATED man! My brother!

A small study of the case! (I am more into case studies these days!)
The guy was great for a moment with his ANGER, the second most powerful emotion! He was an agitator who rallied up fellows for the cause... He was deeply angry with the society & the government. I was happy as I have another guy with a similar feeling...

THE ACT
He banged the bus that sped away... He was running behind it! He had the guts to fight for his right!

THE MIS-ACT
He threw the stone on a bus full of people just like him & the rest of us... The moment the agitator became the arsonist.
Why should they pay in blood & time for something which they haven't caused or for which they werent directly or indirectly answerable? Had that stone broken the glass it sure would have hurt at least a hand full of people. At almost TWO in the morning(night) I wonder if we can get any quality attention in the hospitals.

MIS-ACT II
As the bus stopped he should have tried to stop his adrenaline flow in the body! I guess the aim of the stone-pelting was to draw attention and not make others suffer for his woes! The bus stopped, the conductor came down... He should have spoken to him... instead of fighting with him.

MIS-ACT III
Even after getting into the bus he was scolding the conductor, who by now had realised for his mistake of not noticing the corporation of the bus... & apologised.

ANGER?
His anger might have taken us to nowhere but the nearest police station or the nearest hospital! Luckily for my brother, nothing as such happened!
An unchannelled flow of whatever can never be productive... Be it the water or the anger. There should always be a control, for it is control that makes the things roll.

STUPIDITY.
An elderly man joined the procession... He, at least by his experience and supposed wisdom should have stopped him or stayed out of the proceedings. Instead he chose to side with him! I wonder if he was ready to go to a hospital or probably answer the police! It is the spontaneity that keeps humans alive but it what he had was stupidity not spontaneity... It was opportunism not optimum behaviour.

It is this emotional outbursts and spontaneity that has kept us as slaves all these years... & it will remain to do so. We are carried away by a smile & we bite the sugar-coated pill. We are carried away by a day long hunger strike by the CM of the state and we are carried away from the Thamizh Eezham cause. we are being carried away by the election freebies and we virtually forget about 2G scam, Coalitions of convenience & issues of national importance.

Now for all those of you who read up to here... & wonder what kind of guy I am. FINE, Here is WTF I did...
The conductor of our ORIGINAL bus... WTF was he doing? It was his responsibility to make us board the other bus... It was his responsibility to make the other conductor know that both the buses were of same corporation... It was his bloody responsibility to make the bus stop. Instead he was there as a statute. He should have did all this...Had he did at least one of this there wouldnt have been a necessity for those unasked vents of emotions...
I asked the conductor to stop the bus... & when nothing happened and when everybody got inside the bus... I was the last to get inside the bus... I told the conductor...

None of these were necessary had you spoken a word... Had you stopped the bus. Had you done your duty...

Then inside the NEW bus I said the same to the by now a comparatively calm passengers... Needless to say the guy was still yelling!

MEANS ARE JUSTIFIED BY ENDS... BUT ENDS SHOULD BE WHAT WE SEEK!

THE MEANS SHOULDN'T BE MEAN!

The "PAANI POORI" stall boy!

Yesterday, I was walking down the road to my "HOME" at A.G.S. Colony. (I wonder what that means... AGS?) Anyway as far as the day was concerned I was a bit relaxed as for the first time I had completed an assignment well before the deadline. I was walking in the road pondering about something… about the changes that took place in my life, in my attitude and everything that I had been MISSING… I bought the groceries for the night’s meal. Some vegetables, tomato, curd, eggs oil etc. I stopped by the stall in which I had my daily Samosas. I Thought that it would go well as the side dish of the meal. Anyway I asked for 4 samosas as Saravanan anna was also at home. In fact he is the main cook! Fine let us get back to the story of the blog.

           

            The stall is taken care by a north-Indian dude and (possibly) his brother. A boy of age 6 or 7. The boy will always bore a sad look on his face. I have hardly seen him smile. He does, of course when something funny happens on the road. He parcelled the samosas for me. I was always worried about his education… (May be as my trust is working on that issue…) I asked him “School Poriyaa thambi…”.

            That was IT! You should have seen his face! His face was radiating happiness in all directions. He was very happy to speak about his school… “Aama sir, padikkirhaen!”. I responded like “Yentha School…”. He replied in sentences! “Ingathaan sir pakkathila, D… school…”. I couldn’t even make out what he said. He was so fast & it flowed like a river. I couldn’t get hold of his words partly because of his Hindi mixed accent and partly because of the rate at which he spoke…

By the end of the small chat I found, felt & I was humbled by that small boys interest in school. I was walking back to my home with the thoughts of him and the ways to help the innumerous “HIMS” in my country… I sure, didn’t get a solid plan by which I should act but for sure, I know that I should act… I am looking forward to help the boy in his studies.

A new organisation!

Hola! Amigos... A couple of days ago, (To be precise, I should say a couple of nights ago...) I visited my sister who works with Logica pvt. ltd. regarding the new organisation that we are planning to start. I should say that "IT" is the idea of Dhanya(Pronounced as Dhaanyaa). The organisation will act as a rehabilitation/counselling centre for RAPE VICTIMS. As the tradition goes, I was interested in each & every activity that cares for the one who is not cared by many & So, I was happy to work for the cause. Little did I knew that it was going to shift my PoC. Point of Concern. Actually, the truth is that now I am more aligned towards the org. that we are going to form. I am happy that I found a good Secretary for Gnana Deepam Trust in Ram Prasath. The trust activities are "imprinted" in his heart & he works like hell... I mean strives for working... We will clean the Mariana Beach this month. "JU"st about to confirm the date.  The TEE Shirts are ordered for the Trust.

The meet with my sister was really good. She mentioned some names(references) & points for the centre.  She also shared a lot of her experiences on the related field in all the corporates that she'd worked.

If for some reason the things go on well, we will have a new organisation by December end & it will start its activities by Jan'11. Searching for a GOOD NAME. Anyone? We need a feel good name - Symbolising Safety, Comfortness, Confidence...

But the sad part is  I have the same team of about 12 for all the activities. Should build a separate team for the new org. or at least get a bigger team.

Ho, MBA... What about my dream?

DAMN! That is what people who knew me for sometime would react when I say them that "I'VE JOINED M.B.A. at Anna University..."

All my life or at least for the best part of it that I know, I always wanted to do M.Tech./M.E.. I was never inclined even the least towards a management degree... I really wanted to be a content writer/Writer. I was always happy to write. Be it my journal or even an exam paper... To say the fact, I took up the club activities of my school as it wanted me to type/read/comprehend a lot... Daily, I would burn the midnight oil with some crazy club in my mind.

And Now, I've joined a course at the capital of my state, at the oldest engineering college in South India, at a fairly good place... for a fairly good price... Yet "something is missing..." as in the Indigo-Manza Ad.

Years pass by,

Tears pass by,

Fears pass by,

And even,

Dears pass by...

But my dreams stay...

Still as dreams.

Life, really, is a thriller... You dont know what lies in the next turn... and at times you bump over it and still cant relate to what you've just bumped at. At times something runs over you and you still keep wondering what just ran over you... When you realise what it is, it is already late and you absolutely cant do a s*&# about it.

"DREAM, DREAMS NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE..."

"Free is all we gotta be
Dream dreams no one else can see
But ya never know what might be comin' for you and me
Ya it's gonna be"

- Bryan Adams.

On a day like today, the whole world could change...

These lines resonate in my ears...  

College Days.

Well, it is really a shock, that I have, somehow, completed my college.

I am not a rebellious guy but I wonder, why I have been travelling all through my life. May be I had an inner calling.
Firstly, I broke my studies in Dindigul and went to Kunnathukkal, a serene place near Thiruvananthapuram. There I had some of the very best relationships in my life(Till date). Nextly, when I joined Infant Jesus College of Engineering, My inner soul again had a deep longing, craving for something else. So, I joined Oxford Engineering College at Thiruchchirapalhlhi (திருச்சிராப்பள்ளி.)

My life was fun as soon as I joined OEC. I had a good pack of guys with whom I jelled together easily. Many of them found me to be interesting and they eagerly helped me. We, together, did some good social works. They were always eager to do some works to the society. All they needed was someone to say them what to do and all I needed was someone who can do something when said what to do & how to do. Together we spent a very memorable 2 years. Well a little less than that.

But my memories and relationships will last a life time(as usual). I wonder what is next... Am I going to work? or pursue higher education? or start off with my dream venture?

Whatever the path is, that I am going to take... I can say onething in certain, that I dont forget the path that I had taken and I dont LEAVE the path tha I had taken.

In memories of my college days.

Life all these days.

I wonder what I have been doing all these days. First around the starting of this month I started a new blog, exclusively for my poems... Then I was, my life was jolted by the death of my friend Anbarasan (Anbu), the president of ASISC. Came back to thiruchchirapalli. was busy with the projects. had to do a lot. But didnt. Couldnt.

Then my internet connection was suspended due to the late payment of bill... Lots of things happened.

I went to Dindigul in between, met Amma & Appa... Spent some memorable time with Divya... Damn, I really would have lost a lot hadnt I been present there at Dindigul.

SOMEHOW managed to leave her system virtually speechless! (No sound drivers for her!) needless to say that I am the one who formatted her system and installed Windows 7. Her config wasnt supported completely by the copy of Windows.

Then my project viva voe was completed! God knows what the external examiner understood... He asked us to stop within 5 -6 slides. No problem. Whatever the mark is, we dont care.

Came home to Thirunelveli... Missed the family reunion... they all went to the family temple!  but joined my sister & bro for the trip to Kanya Kumari... ManiMuththaarhu!

Now I am on the verge of sleeping. Morning have to travel to Thiruvananthapuram... for the get2gether! Hmmm.... Hope I can make it!

Cant I?

நான் நாணமின்றிக் கண்ட காட்சி......

அதி காலை, உதரி எழுந்து நின்றேன்...

ரதி, வாலைக் குமரி, செவ்வுடை கண்டேன்.

இன்புற்று, இலகிப் போய், நின்றேன்.

இனியவளுடை இலகிப் போக, கண்டேன்.


பூண்ட உடை மீண்டதால், நாணுடை

பூண்டாள். அதைக் கண்டதால், நானும் விடை

பெற்றேன், உள்ளுயிர் துடிக்க, மெய்

ஏனோ வெடிக்க, நாணப் பொய்யோடு.


மாலை மீண்டும் கண்டேன், என்

மானை. கண்(ட) ணசையாது நின்றேன்.

வெளுத்த அவள் இடையை,

தழுவியது கருத்த உடை.


நான் நாடிய ஒரு நொடி,

அவள் நாணிய சிறு கொடி...

உடை இடை நழுவியதால்.

உயிர் உடல் கண்டதால்.


நான் களித்து சிரித்தது ஒரு நொடி,

அவள் கடிந்து ஒளித்தது, பெருவெடி...

இத்தனை சினம் என் மேலேனடி?

இதற்கு (பொ)போய் அழுவான் ஏனடி?

- பாரதிக் கண்ணன்.



வழக்கமான விளக்கம் : -

காலைல கொசு மற்றும் கனவுத் தொல்லைனால எந்திருச்சேன். சூரிய ஒளில்ல சும்மா கும்முன்னு இருந்தா, என் காதலி. வானம். மெதுவா மறைஞ்சுச்சு, அந்த சிகப்பு வண்ணம்... எனக்குள்ள ஏதேதோ எண்ணம், உடம்புக்கு தெம்பா இருந்துச்சு. இருந்தாலும் வந்துட்டேன், வேலை ஏதோ செய்யப் போற மாதிரி... சாயங்காலம் மறுபடியும் வெட்டியா வேடிக்கை பாத்திட்டுருந்தேன், (வேரென்ன வேலை?) திடீர்ன்னு மேகம் மூண்டுச்சு. (எனக்குள்ள கவிதா மோகம் தூண்டுச்சு... அதான் இது!) வெள்ளை வானத்த, கருப்பு மேகம் மூடுச்சு..... வெளிச்சம் வராதான்னு நினைச்சேன்... பளீர்ன்னு வந்துச்சு பவர் சோப்போட வெள்ளையா ஒரு மின்னல், ஒரே ஒரு நொடிதான்... (என்ன வெக்கமோ?) சந்தோஷமா நான் சிரிச்சேன் (அதுல என்ன குத்தமோ?) டுமீல்னு ஒரே இடிதான்..... இதுக்குப் போய் கோபமான்னு கேட்டேன்... அவ்வளவுதான், பொசுக்குன்னு அழுதிட்டா...


“இது தப்புனா மன்னிச்சுடுங்க...”. தெரிஞ்சே நான் தப்பு செய்யல, சூழ்நிலை, சூன்யம் பன்னீடுச்சு. தயவு செயஞ்சு அவகிட்ட சொல்லி புரிய வைங்க... இப்பயெல்லாம் என்னை பாத்தா சிரிக்க்க் கூட மாட்டேங்குறா... அவள் உக்ரமும் உஷ்ணமும் தாங்கல. நீங்கதான் என் காதலோட ஆழத்தை சொல்லனும், அவகிட்ட... என் மேல, அவளுக்கு கோபம் இருக்காதுல... என் காதல் ஜெயிக்கும்ல...